Reflecting

Today was a housework hiatus. A newly coined term. I like it. All day I did not worry about the house appearance - I just lived in it. Important strategy for managing anxiety over not being a good enough housekeeper. It disturbs me when it is untidy, messy or dirty. It actually makes me queasy when I think that this house could look like the apartment.
I went back there today for the last time to haul out the last of the garbage. Still bright beautiful south facing light. Large high ceilings and the sounds of Charlotte street. Those were the best features of the apartment. The bathroom that looked like it was from a tenement or a truck stop was not. The lack of closet space. That no matter how much I cleaned it always seemed dirty. Everything seemed crammed in. That is certainly not the feeling here.
For the first month we lived here it felt like it did at the SoHo. This place was too nice for us; we were on vacation. We did not actually live here. This was a break from our real life. I'd lay in bed and giggle at night with glee that this was our house.