Off facebook and on Neptune

Today was a housework hiatus. A newly coined term. I like it. All day I did not worry about the house appearance - I just lived in it. Important strategy for managing anxiety over not being a good enough housekeeper. It disturbs me when it is untidy, messy or dirty. It actually makes me queasy when I think that this house could look like the apartment. I went back there today for the last time to haul out the last of the garbage. Still bright beautiful south facing light. Large high ceilings and the sounds of Charlotte street. Those were the best features of the apartment. The bathroom that looked like it was from a tenement or a truck stop was not. The lack of closet space. That no matter how much I cleaned it always seemed dirty. Everything seemed crammed in. That is certainly not the feeling here. For the first month we lived here it felt like it did at the SoHo. This place was too nice for us; we were on vacation. We did not actually live here. This was a break from our real

Change is a good thing. I have never been opposed to change. What I have been is opposed to the speed at which change happens. Change seems to happen too quickly sometimes, and on the treadmill of life I am panting to keep up with the processing and appreciating of what happens. Today, I did not keep up - you could form the visualization of me shooting off the backend of the treadmill and crashing into the wall. I had to make a long walk into a dark basement, where oddly there is a treadmill, where I then had to give a woefully inadequate apology. The truth: I forgot about my obligation to one because of my obligation to another. That is the change - having dual obligations. Work was my constant, my only, for almost a dozen years. I lose myself in it, today I lost myself. I thought of him often, looking forward to our Wednesday outing, but forgetting the obligation. Not because of malice or insensitivity, I was caught up in habits. On autopilot. I have never had dual obligation

Laura Arual is sorry that she let you down today.

Laura Arual has the best boyfriend ever and she appreciates everything he brings to her life a little bit more every day.

Laura Arual reflects on the summer and is utterly satisfied.

Laura Arual glad for the kind of conversations that we have.

Laura Arual will not let a few sour grapes ruin her evening.

Tonight I was supposed to meet with a former friend for coffee and girltalk. This was her idea; she invited herself over to see the new house, and after a month I just couldn't dodge it anymore. Also, I'll admit, part of me wanted to show off what I now have. In typical fashion, she did not show up. An email sent an hour prior with a completely transparent excuse, that I was initially naive enough to buy. That is what made me angry, not so much the wasted Wednesday evening, but that I had been duped.              I don't understand why she did that - she had pursued me all summer wanting to come over and see the house. And then, the cancel. Not even the second time that she has done that on me. Why?                It makes me sad because we used to be good friends. Frequent friends, connected friends. And, now this. I don't know why she can't let the friendship die the natural death that it is dying. Why does she periodically attempt to revive it?               

Laura aural must remember after September 7th when he does bad things, that he is actually very cute.

Is it possible to get everything you have ever wanted? I wonder that often lately because it seems like I have everything I ever wanted. Most of it I didn't even let myself dare to want to it, and now I have it. As I type this out, I lie in bed next to an amazing man who embraces me for me. In the last month it really does seen like we have everything two people could ever want. So many good things have come our way, I am occasionally concerned that I am not giving proper thanks and showing sufficient gratitude. Our latest goodness is his job - not just a job, but a career, the much sought after career. It seems to me like we have been given more, blessed with more than most. I wonder why that is. Perhaps it is not just that we have more than others, but that we make each other happy just as we are, and all of the shiny new things are enhancements not the foundation.

bids a fond farewell to the pink apartment and Charlotte st.. You served me well for many years and now I shall make happy memories elsewhere.

So I have become one of those people. A homeowner. I used to mock those people. The banality of their lives. Giant packs of paper towels and a lawn mower. That is now me. But I still think I'm having more fun. We're having more fun than them. A simple trip to Canadian Tire is an experience as we both stand in the lawn care aisle saying, "I dunno. Do we need one of these? I don't know what it does, but do we need one?" Not crabby like the couple in line behind us. So now a lawn mower, a trowel, and very menacing shears. Apparently I am to use them.

Laura Aural can't gloat on fb cuz that would be rude, but she'll do it here: the two of them now have matching his and hers iPads.

Laura Arual was taught to play poker nine months ago today and her life was never the same. She still can't believe that this wonderful man is hers.

Laura Arual says thank you for the many good things in her life.

Laura Arual needs for tomorrow to be a better day than today. No fighting. Please.

Laura Arual whispers thank you to the universe.

Laura Arual sends as many positive thoughts his way as she has in her.

Laura Arual is completely in love with the new house.

Laura Arual loved the look on his face when he said he was happy last night.

Laura Arual realized that she wasn't bring true to who she was, she was stuck in who she used to be. This genuinely feels like who she is now.

Laura Arual used to think that this kind of love and happiness was found only in fiction. She was wrong. The most perfect moving in day into the perfect house with the perfect man.

Laura Arual is the kind of loved where the other person wants to put her first. She does not know how she ever could have thought she was loved before him.