Off facebook and on Neptune

Laura Arual handed out Halloween candy for the very first time in their very own house.

A few moments in my library. The door is shut, but I hear Cooper's dog tags jingling in the hallway and Chris typing in his office. I need better lighting in here. Softer lighting. Not the harsh overhead lighting. But I like it in here. I don't come in here often enough, but I like knowing that this space exists. It is mine. No one else comes in here. All of the Laura things are in here. It is like my Charlotte street apartment recreated. The same ratty bookshelves stuffed with books, and my favourite shade of pink. My throw pillows. One of the best things about this room is that Chris understood how important this space was to me. He understood how it balances me, keeps me me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but he helped me set it up in the summer. Recognized that it needed to be a priority. I haven't utilized it the way that I should, but I like knowing I can come here. It reminds me of the first few weeks in the house when everything was new and I was in awe of

Laura Arual needs to figure out how to be invisible again so she can stop saying all of the wrong things.

Laura Arual sometimes feels inadequate and this is one of those times. Seduction failed, as usual.

I ran into a once upon a time friend last night while waiting for K to go to the movies. She recognized me first. Sitting outside of shoppers with her dog. A dog which oddly I have been thinking about a lot lately . Seeing her was also odd because our lives in many ways used to be the same. Now there are no similarities. She is not even teaching anymore. Off on leave due to stress. Some kind of breakdown. It made me pause and realize just how much my life has changed. Home, status, job. In less than one year more changed than in the previous eight or nine. For so many years I used to ffeel like I was in a holding pattern waiting for my life to begin. Seeing her last night

Laura Arual needs him to know that she does see the toll this has taken on him, and she feels very special and loved in everything that he does for her even if she doesn't always show it.

Laura Arual realized today they the poison people will only damage you if you let them. Okay, maybe she has known that for awhile, but today she put that to the test. Survival due to mainly to the light and buoyancy that is much the result of his love.

Laura Arual has never been the perfect spot in anyone's life before this.

Laura Arual thinks about all of those holiday meals she made for someone who never really cared, and sometimes never even showed up. She can hardly wait for tomorrow when she will cook for someone who deserves everything and more than she can give him.

Laura Arual is a little sad and feels very disconnected from him right now. She is not sure how to fix this.