Off facebook and on Neptune

Laura Arual lies next to a sleeping man three minutes before the new year, and she predicts a year of contentment. 

Laura Arual was stumped attempting to make a list of good things or highlights of 2013. She thought of many good things that happened in 2012, but only the hard or the lowlights of 2013 came to mind. His response to frantic question was "we survived" Um, yeah, get over yourself and give credit to that. For some survival is the accomplishment. When asked again, he responded, "we had good food." On the surface that may not be anything, but the memories attached to those bbqs, those lazily stirred pots of risotto, the surprisingly tasty weekday dinners, are more than anything. And yes, we survived,  together. That is the highlight. I love him more right now in this instance, than I did last year, the yea before. And before that, there was no one. . 

Lost entries. At least one written  on the bus enroute to niagara for the holidays where I rewrote about how being squashed next to someone was a lot better when it is your someone.  A familiar refrain, but I need to start writing again. I've been reading xojane regularly since the summer, and I think that when I'm at my best, my stuff is comparative to some of theirs. No one reads mine so I don't have a barometer, but that isn't why I write. Or wrote. Past tense is more appropriate. I like the style of the multiple subjected blog columns where there are common themes.  I was writing about the 30 things until a topic froze me and I abandoned it. And a mundane technical issue that I gave greater importance to than it deserved. I need to compile a list of topics to write about. My own topics -cooking - my dog -riding the bus - body issues To be continued...

I read the two years entry, and I am even happier now. I love him so much .

All month worried about our celebration. When? How? The actual day spent travelling. No time to ourselves. For ourselves.   A moment of clarity in Walmart's mcdonalds (I cringe at that statement but I must be honest) I found the words to voice its importance. So today, December 21st is our day. Gifts in the morning, a special breakfast, the hilarity of lamp decorating last night. It belongs to us. A family tradition carved out. Just he and I. We are a family. Include the animals too. That is what is wanted.

Laura Arual mailed Christmas cards today. Reviewing the list from last year of cards sent is an accurate tally of the meaningful people in my life over the year. Some added. Some dropped, and the dropped ones do make me sad. 

Laura Arual realizes that sitting out here in the freezing kitchen is foolish when she has a warm bed and a snoring man to snuggle up to as she wanders around the internet.

Laura Arual is loved. Now she must work on being love.

Laura Arual is being reminded to let go. Let go and breathe. The universe will take care of it.