Off facebook and on Neptune

Laura aural is happy and loved and still without answers as to why she deserves him.

Laura aural says your love is better than ice cream.

Laura aural just realized that since 1988 writing has been her yoga.

The anxiety monster strikes again. It lurks in shadows and always follows me around. Sometimes I can keep it at a greater distance, but I always know that it is there. The anxiety monster, a greenish brown dripping blob (a sick snot bubble kind of ooze), is very very clever. This week it caught up with me, and not for the reasons it usually does. This time: work. Change is scary. A new school so work changed mightily. I thought I was doing ok. Settling in. Finding my way. So, this recent problem, it has never been problematic before, has given the anxiety monster the hutzpah to dance all over me. Its paw prints have left me bruised and shallow breathing. I'm unable to trust myself. I doubt myself in an arena where there is rarely doubt. Stop. Breathe. Remind myself that the anxiety monster can only get me if I let it. With the anxiety monster, I make the problem larger than it is. 10 feet tall 3 feet wide. So much bigger than it deserves to be. Already, steps have been taken to

We are not a couple that fight. The big stuff draws up closer. We talk it out. We listen tongue other person. We stumble onto that middle ground, and all is well. So. Why this? Why this week of nattering and squabbling over nothing? And me making perceived ultimatums? And him getting a duffle bag from a dusty shelf. We are better than this. This is not us. Maybe it's just settling in, adjusting pains. Almost one year of having lived together. Me and him. I've never lived with anyone, it's been a long time for him. I want this to work so badly. I want our ten years, twenty years, 30, 40, maybe 50 is a stretch. I don't want to be the statistic for those who do not make it. Nor do I want to be those who sty together because they don't know what else to do. I want us to be together because we are happy and good for each other. He is not happy right now. He feels overwhelmed. He feels under pressure. I need to alleviate that. He used the word "ineffectual&

Laura areal has made the trip back to ptbo almost 200 times alone in the last 19 years, but this time she was surprised at the terminal by her favourite person.

Laura aural pulls strength and calm from his love to carry her through an ugly situation. Thank you.

Laura aural spent time with family tonight and it was ok. So much has changed in two years. Both a long and a short time.

Laura aural will not feel badly about absences from posting. The important thing is to start posting again.