Off facebook and on Neptune

Usually I stop writing when life gets bad. Laur-pression since I have never accepted I have depression. I barely accept that I have anxiety, and that makes me worry. My current silence has been for a different reason. Life. Happy, joyous, frustrating, hair-pulling life. But not that numbing inertia where I can't walk across the room and the thought of recording my words makes me recoil in horror and shame. My last post was the weekend I went to niagara and I wished I was at home. I wanted my Saturday night with Chris - barfing

Laura Arual wishes she were home tonight.

Laura Arual wonders if anyone actually reads this blog with any sort of interest.

Laura Arual was always told that good things come to those who wait. They were right, and she will forever be glad she waited.

Laura Arual was shown true romance tonight.

Strange dream this afternoon. The image of walking into my Charlotte street apartment like I have a thousand times before after having been away for a while. Home sick so very homesick and so very very glad to be home. But then I realized that I was away from the apartment and my life there because I had been living this life here with Chris. This life with Chris had actually just been a dream or that which I had spent my time doing while away from the apartment. I was so upset because I realized that while I loved the bright southern light streaming in the windows and the high high ceilings, I did not think that made up for having lost this. I woke up and tried to read but I couldn't because I suddenly realized that this here is far too important and it was terrifying to think I could lose it.