Off facebook and on Neptune

Laura Arual needs summer more than she ever has before.

Laura Arual realized today that she is his soft place and he fills up her silences. 

Laura Arual realizes that her boss is a bully, and she does not like or respect her.

A year ago yesterday we saw the house. Hot. The endless George North bus route made even more so by road obstruction. Out to trent and back before I told Chris I had to get off the bus or I was ogling to barf. Chicken salad sandwiches for lunch - the sweet relish and sharp red Onion tastes still in my mouth. The purpose of the trip was to time the bus route to Adam Scott. Seeing an open house was just something to do on a Saturday in June. I can't remember if report cards were done.    We both walked around as if in a museum or art gallery. It felt weird to be bare foot in a stranger's house, on their carpet, going through their closets. We walked to the Dairy Queen on chemong road. A mini blizzard and French fries. At first we convinced ourselves the house wasn't for us, then we convinced ourselves it was. It had to be ours.    And a year later it is. Ours and the bank. This beautiful space belongs to us. I wonder if the walls heard us much laughter when the previous owner

Laura Arual enjoyed a night of nothing in their home.. Reading. BBQ sauce concocting. Making plans for the future. Slowly realizing this is where she lives, and they own it. So much for a person who never thought she would have anything like this.

Laura aural needs to figure out if everyone else is  as into their other as she is into hers. 

A good weekend despite a trivial argument on Saturday and me losing the keys today. No. The argument stemmed from something trivial but was over something bigger. My trust issues. But how can I tell him, show him that he has had more follow through than anyone in my life.  

I should be sleeping. He is snoring, manfred is curled up around my head. Tomorrow is a pa day. Report card writing. I reread the last two years of may and June, 2011 and 2012. A definite difference in tone. 2011 I was so overwhelmed by professional obligations... The desire to be the perfect teacher. Better than everyone else. Filling all of my time with that. So little for me - I didn't want there to be. Alone time meant thinking about things better left unthought. Last year was the bitter sadness of leaving Kenner and the excitement of buying the house. The symbol that really it was me and him. I still can't write forever. Always the queen of jinx. I don't even remember writing report cards. I am sure I did.    Now this year. Petty arguments about housework. A superficial worry about money. More concerned about what we will do to keep ech other entertained this summer. I want to write, be creative, play in my house.    But despite that, in spite of that, there is a bed

Laura aural loves how he is always there to help her. 

Laura aural reminds herself that she still has almost a month left of work. No shutting down yet, despite how disinterested in it she is.